The Official Cunt Hair Ruler TM

Move it just a cunt hair to the right. How many times have you said it?

Behold, the Official Cunt Hair Ruler.

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For centuries the world's greatest architects, builders, sculptors and craftsmen have used the cunt hair as the established standard of fine measurement.

Throughout history, the slight variation in cunt hair thickness has accounted for many of the stylistic variations found in the tools, dwellings and artifacts of civilizations all over the world.

The blonde cunt hair, being both the rarest and thickest, is responsible for the robust features found in artifacts of civilizations where blonde cunt hairs are in abundance.

The red cunt hair, being the finest of all hairs, is commonly specified where tighter tolerances are required and is often used as a calibration standard by which all other cunt hairs are judged.

About the Official Cunt Hair Ruler TM

The Official Cunt Hair Ruler TM boasts several useful features.

The exclusive "Zero Centering Feature" allows the user to easily move something a cunt hair to the left, or right. The handy centering mark establishes a constant point for those tricky situations where you just moved it a cunt hair to left, and now realize it really needs to go a cunt hair to the right. Make the adjustment in confidence knowing you never lost your center point!

A handy Depth Gauge Clip has been included for those tricky blind holes and height adjustments. Simply position the ruler and slide the Depth Gauge into place to capture the measurement.

Need to trim just a cunt hair off the edge? Set the Depth Gauge to the desired spot, and use it as an edge guide while holding a pencil at the end of the ruler. It doesn't get any easier than this!

When you're done, the clip secures the ruler in your shirt pocket where it will be ready for that next precision measurement.

Made in America

This stainless steel ruler is Made in America and features an attractive brushed finish. The demarcations are etched and inked for years of durable, reliable service under the toughest conditions. This is not some cheap, silk screened, plain metal or plastic ruler. This is an actual heirloom fathers will pass down to their sons generation after generation.

The Official Cunt Hair Ruler TM removes all doubt when making precision adjustments and establishes a worldwide standard for this historic unit of measure.

Measure with Complete Confidence

The Official Cunt Hair Ruler TM has been painstakingly calibrated using a set of red cunt hairs stored in the National Archive of Weights and Measures at Cheyenne Mountain. The Official Cunt Hair Ruler TM finally establishes a world standard for this historic unit of measure.

Bring Peace

In a world of differences, where countries all have their own currency, traditions and standards of measure, the Official Cunt Hair Ruler TM brings us all together. It tears down the walls of indifference by establishing something we can all agree on instead of fight over. Raise your ruler in celebration that no matter where you are in the world, you can "move it just a cunt hair" and agree with everyone else on exactly what that means!

Cunt Hair Ruler Pricing (This is a real product! Get yours today!)

Order Type Ruler Count Price + Shipping Buy Now!
The Strand (Single Rulers) (1) $6.99 each + Shipping ($4.00 - USA / $7.00 - Canada/International) Add $6.99 for each additional ruler, up to 5 rulers
The Bush Pack (6) $35.99 + Shipping ($4.00 - USA / $7.00 - Canada/International)
The Bald Eagle (10) $49.99 + Shipping ($4.00 - USA / $7.00 - Canada/International)
Gone Retro (25) $95.99 + Shipping ($4.00 - USA / $14.00 - Canada/International)
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